Vanity unfair

AESOP made a fable of it: “The fly sat upon the axle-tree of the chariot wheel, and said, ‘What a cloud of dust do I raise.’”

The taga-ilog crafted a proverb out of it: “Langaw na dumapo sa likod ng kalabaw, pakiwari’y malaki pa sa tinuntungan.”
The taga-pampang, never to be outdone by their neighbors, witticised it thus: “Soga ing penako na, katayid damulag ya.”
“So there are some vain persons, that, whatsoever goeth alone or moveth upon greater means, if they have never so little hand in it, they think it is they that carry it.” So wrote the great English essayist Francis Bacon on the subject.
Yeah, it’s vainglory we are talking about here, dummy.
As in basking in reflected glory, like the moon boasting of its light that is no more than that reflected upon it by the sun.
So common in sons of not necessarily illustrious, but even merely popular, fathers. Some even get to be governors totally clueless in the art of governance. (Update: Others even ambitioning to the presidency on the grounds of their forebear’s infamy. Yea, like you-know-he.)
As in huffing and puffing to look heftier and mightier than one’s real puny, sorry self. Paper tigers, the activists of the ‘60s call them. Menacing but totally harmless. Like some soldier-boys you and I know.
As in a mere foot soldier claiming full credit for victory in war.
Come to think of it, wasn’t the great 1st Lt. Ferdinand E. Marcos of USAFFE cited for single-handedly delaying the fall of Bataan and Corregidor for one month? Only, the citation came nearly 20 years after the fact, err, the lie.
There is one writer, Michael Korda in his book Power, if I am not mistaken, who pricked the vainglorious bubble thus: “Only a weakling will endeavor to display strength at every turn.”
So there, form over substance. Clanging cymbals signifying nothing, the Apostle Paul preached of vanities.
So beware of him that blows his own trumpet. For there is nothing there but hot, always fetid, air. And he too that follows him.
Take heed of Bacon: “(Vain)Glorious men are the scorn of wise men; the admiration of fools; the idols of parasites; and the slaves of their own vaunts.”
Lofty, lofty classical thoughts there we have to translate to current times. So, vainglory goes from the sublime to the, err, clinical. Yeah, to the child psychologist’s ADHD -- attention deficiency hyperactive disorder.
And from the clinical to the sublimely ridiculous, KSP – kulang sa pansin.
So have you noticed those bloated tarpaulined egos lately?
Truly pathetic.

(First published in Punto! Feb. 10, 2008, reprinted March 7-12, 2022 for its relevance to the times.)